On The Tunney Side of the Street #213, Jan. 26, 2009 (www.JimTunney.com)

On the Tunney Side of the Street #213, January 26, 2009

After Further Review … Perhaps you have read this before, but it bears repeating … Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working at the supermarket, when a new voice came over the loud speaker asking for a carry-out at register 4. Kurtis answered the call. As he approached the check-out stand, he noticed the beauty of the new check-out girl.

After his shift was over, he waited by the time clock to find out her name, and when she punched out, he looked at her card – Brenda. The next day, he waited again and offered her a ride home, which she accepted. When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work. She said it wasn’t possible, and explained she had two children and couldn’t afford a sitter. He offered to pay for the sitter. Reluctantly, she accepted his offer for a date for the following Saturday, but when he arrived at her door she said she was unable to go. The sitter had cancelled, to which Kurtis said, “Well, let’s take the kids with us.”

She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Finally Brenda brought him inside to meet her children. She had an older daughter who was just cute as a bug. Then Brenda brought out her son - in a wheelchair. He was born a paraplegic with Down Syndrome.

Kurtis asked Brenda, “I still don’t understand why the kids can’t come with us?” Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one had disabilities – just like her husband and father of her children had done. Kurtis had a different mindset. So that evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the movies.

When her son needed anything, Kurtis would take care of him. When he needed to use the restroom, Kurtis picked him up out of his wheelchair, took him and brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. At the end of the evening, Brenda knew this was the man she was going to marry. A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted both of her children. Since then, they have added five more kids.

When you watch Super Bowl XLIII http://www.nfl.com/superbowl/43 next Sunday, look for Kurtis. He’ll be wearing a Cardinals’ jersey with #13 and the name “Warner” on the back. Yes, Kurtis is Kurt Warner, starting QB of the Arizona Cardinals http://www.nfl.com/players/kurtwarner/profile?id=WAR492511 !


Will you “pick yourself up and dust yourself off” to help someone in need?



For more information about Jim Tunney, please visit his website:
www.JimTunney.com, or if you would like to respond to this message,
please send your email to Jim@JimTunney.com

On The Tunney Side of the Street #200, Oct. 27, 2008 (www.JimTunney.com)

After Further Review … As I watched young participants play in a recent Junior Golf Tournament at a Par 3 local course, I was impressed by the brightness of their faces, the determined look to do their best, and, most of all, their CIVILITY. I’ve seen those characteristics before in youth tournament competitions; then watched them grow from kids to young adults, and some even onto the professional tour. As they aged, their faces hardened a bit, but not their civility. So the question becomes – where has civility gone in our sports world today? I’ve never seen a Junior Golfer throw a club in disgust; never heard a “discouraging word” – the 4-letter variety; and never found anyone who didn’t always want to do his or her best.

Do the values of the game get lost as players get older? Do we lose respect, courtesy, honor, and integrity as the pressure of winning increases? Has winning at all costs overtaken the basic values that we first learned as kids?

Sports that require physical contact (e.g. football, soccer, hockey, basketball) often elide the traits mentioned above. Let’s use NFL football as a case in point. In “It’s the Will, Not the Skill” we say “dancing (celebrating) in the end-zone” evinces disrespect for one’s opponent. Yet in golf, the pumping of the fist, the thrust of the hand overhead as an emotion of celebration does not seem disrespectful. Emotional energy is part of creating momentum, and, perhaps, a way of building self-confidence.
(http://www.amazon.com/Its-Will-Not-Skill-Philosophies/dp/0937539082)

Where civility gets lost is when the “celebration” goes overboard. Granted, in the “emotionality” (if you will) of the occasion, does one think of that impact on an opponent? It hurts to lose, especially when you see your opponent flaunting success. Does that mean you should not celebrate? Not at all. Celebrating is as natural as breathing – an inherent right – an earned privilege of winning. Winning is important – “you play to win the game” (see page 190 in It’s the Will, Not the Skill), but moderation in celebrating must be considered.

We’ve all seen the ugliness of competition influence kids because of ADULT – coaches, parents, crowd, etc., behavior. Typically, kids are out there playing because they love to play. Adults, far too often, are the ones overly exerting pressure on them to win. That being said, congratulations go to parents and coaches who promote good sportsmanship by making sure that, if their kids win, they treat celebrating with concern about respecting others.

WILL YOU KEEP CIVILITY IN ALL YOU DO?


For more information about Jim Tunney, please visit his website: www.JimTunney.com, or if you would like to respond to this message, please send your email to Jim@JimTunney.com